Blame the Aliens...

“If humans were descended from monkeys, then why are there still monkeys?”

Yes, that is my question, and I am still waiting for an acceptable answer.

Recently, some friends and I were sitting around, talking about several topics that came to mind. One of those topics being about the origin of humans on earth. Why are humans here, what is their purpose, what was their origin. 

We decided that we would stay away from Intelligent Design this time, and focus on any other possibilities. As we went on, most of us agreed on certain specifics, such as the reason why humans are here, and well as how humans came about.

After a while, and just for the heck of it, we started writing down our agreed points about the subject. In the end, we had decided that aliens were the cause of it all. Of course, this was all just foolishness as we waited for our pay-per-view to begin. The following is what we came up with:

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Blame the Aliens...

In ancient times, aliens came to Earth. The purpose for it was to mine the planet for valuable materials as well as for scientific study. One of the reasons that they might have wanted gold for, was because for one, it reflects infrared radiation, and for another, it does not corrode. They must have needed vast amounts of it for whatever purposes that they needed it for.

We also agreed that at one time, gold must have been a very abundant metal on this planet.

We decided that the aliens eliminated the dinosaurs. They did so, in order to avoid the problems of large, dangerous animals walking around while the alien worker populations mined the planet. Of course, they tagged and bagged some of them for future reference.

Over time, we agreed that the alien workers eventually decided that they did not want to mine anymore. We also thought that their biology may not have been fully compatible with the planet, which caused the problem of having to wear protective suits while working.

This led the scientists to come up with the idea of developing a worker species.

Because the various native species on the planet that had survived the extermination of most of the dinosaurs weren’t decent options, the aliens decided to develop a new species.

They needed a worker species that had the strength and intelligence to perform all of the mining for the aliens, and that were fully compatible with the planet.

So, the aliens collected some genetics from primates, which by then, primates had emerged on the planet, and applied some of their own genetics to them.

After some time, humans were developed.

The aliens taught the humans how to mine for gold, silver and other materials, as well as gave them other skills, and put the humans to work. The aliens themselves became overseers.

Over time, the aliens introduced newer and more complex technologies to the humans, seeing that the humans were becoming quite intelligent.

After some time, resources on the planet became more scarce, especially resources like gold, surface diamonds and silver. With the levels of collected resources falling, the aliens could no longer justify the expense of continuing the mining of the planet.

The aliens decided to abandon mining activities and move on.

Soon after, the aliens realized that humans had become much more intelligent, and were also developing their own complex societies.

Eventually, the aliens left the planet in order to search for resources elsewhere.

After they were done with the planet, and seeing that the humans had established their own civilizations, the aliens decided to leave the humans behind rather than eliminate them.

The scientific communities amongst the aliens decided to keep track of the human’s progress, which they had done to this day. They still collect human genetics as humanity progresses.

That is why...

Humans regard gold as so precious, even as gold is nothing more than a weak metal, it was useless to ancient humans for weapons or armor, but considered it highly valuable because it was “something desired by the gods.”

So many ancient cave painting have extraterrestrial references because early humans considered the aliens as gods.

Many ancient stories from all over the world have many similarities regardless of distance or culture.

Civilizations like the Aztecs and Egyptians adorned their most important religious artifacts out of gold and precious gems as a devotion to their “gods”.

Ancient civilizations such as in Mesoamerica, Egypt, and China, build their pyramids according to astrological alignments.

Other civilizations like the Nazca, who go back more than 3000 years, went to great lengths to build gigantic images on stone plateaus that can only be seen from far above the surface of the planet.

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OK, this was just crazy stuff, and we stopped talking about it after our pay-per-view began. Afterwards, I collected our pizza-stained notes, and stashed them in a drawer. 

And now, after some time, I found them again, and here you go. Go ahead and laugh about it.

But when the aliens come back, and see what we have done with our portion of the genetics that they gave us, they might just want to take them back.